The Price of Love

I didn't go to church this morning.
My heart just hurts too much today.

I find myself thinking about the sorrow Jesus felt
in the days leading up to His betrayal and crucifixion.
As He knowingly faced the coming betrayals.
As He knowingly faced the coming torture.
As He knowingly faced the coming death.
His heart must have hurt immensely!
And still, He took the risk,
paid the Price of Love
that we would have the chance of a heavenly eternity.

I am facing the second anniversary of Al's death this week.
And soon the first of the death of my relationship with Harlan.
I am walking through those last days of both losses,
remembering watching them both,
knowing that despite my denial,
both were to soon be gone from me.
The sorrow was and is almost more than I can bear.
Because I love them both so deeply.
And yet, I would do it again,
risk my heart with them,
for the chance of earthly love and happiness!

But my love for them is so pale as to be non-existent
in comparison to our Saviour's love for us!
That just floors me!
To think that He loves and longs for us that much!

I often say that I never understood the depth of love
God has for us until I had children.
And now, I think that I finally have an understanding
of the sorrow He experiences when He loses one of us!

Oh, that I would never so grieve His heart!

Surely our griefs He Himself bore,

And our sorrows He carried;

Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken,

Smitten of God and afflicted.

But He was pierced through for our transgressions,

He was crushed for our iniquities;

The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him,

And by His scourging we are healed.

All of us like sheep have gone astray,

Each of us has turned to his own way;

but the Lord has caused the iniquity of us all to fall on Him.

                                                     ~~ Isaiah 53:4-6 NASV ~~

The Lord is my strength and my shield;

my heart trusts in Him,

and He helps me.

My heart leaps for joy,

and with my song I praise Him.

                                                                 ~~ Psalm28:7 NIV ~~