As I write this, some of my readers have already crossed over into 2015. Some are only an hour or two away. Those of us in the United States are preparing for the evening's celebrations.
I want to say to my readers as I close out this year that I appreciate each and every one of you! You have walked a very difficult journey with me this year. One of elation to heartache to the beginnings of healing. I hope that you have watched my struggles and learned that God is faithful! That He is compassionate! That He is trustworthy! That He carries us when we can't walk! That He loves us unconditionally, unendingly, and wholly!
As I continue to say goodbye to Al, I was struck by a verse in the Book of John this week.
If you really love Me, you will be very happy for Me, because now I can go to the Father...
~~ John 14:28 NLT ~~
This was spoken by Jesus at The Last Supper as He was preparing His disciples for what was to come and the sorrow they would experience. Way back at the end of September of 2013, God brought me to this point with my Al. While still sorrowing for myself, just as Jesus knew the disciples would grieve for Him, God performed a miracle of peace in my heart over Al's death. He showed me that our love was complete, that it was okay for me to live. This verse spoke that to me again this week as I approach the second anniversary of Al's home-going. And I am truly happy for him!
Then, as I continue to try to convince my heart to let Harlan, whom I was so sure was God's choice for me, go, I covet your prayers. This is harder, for he is not with Jesus. He has stopped contacting me, and there have been some other evidences that he has finally let me go. And that, I suppose, has been helpful. Now if I could just let him go, for my heart still wishes. But that same chapter in John spoke to me again this week.
"I am leaving you with a gift -- peace of mind and heart.
And the peace I give isn't like the peace the world gives.
So don't be troubled or afraid."
~~ John 14:27 NLT ~~
God and God alone knows the coming days. He knows my heart and it's longings far better than even I know myself. He knows why my relationship with Harlan was in His will - for I have no doubt that it was, there is just too much evidence - and He knows why things have happened as they have. He has a plan for me. And just as He gave me peace in my loss of Al, Thanksgiving weekend, He performed another miracle in my spirit, regarding my loss of Harlan. And while I still sorrow for him as well, I am at peace at last.
I don't know where His plan will carry me this year. But I hope you will continue to walk the journey with me. There will be changes one way or the other, because that is part of life.
Some of you I know personally. Some of you I know via online groups only. Some of you I think I know, but am not sure. Some of you are strangers. But know that I pray for you, my readers, each and every day! I pray that God is glorified in my posts, that you are uplifted, and that you realize you are not alone in struggling on this earth - for we all have struggles, it is the cost of sin.
I pray that as you celebrate the start of a New Year, if you do not know Christ personally as your Saviour, you will take time to seek Him and give your heart to Him! If you have questions about that, please ask. All comments are moderated and if you want private replies, I am happy to do that.
May God richly bless you in 2015. May He grant you each the peace and joy that only comes through Him!
I'm going dancing tonight! Please celebrate safely whatever you are doing!