Season of Thanks, Day Thirteen

I overslept this morning. I had turned my alarm off the night before because I didn't need to be anywhere on Wednesday morning. This morning, I did need to be somewhere early. Of course, I neglected to turn the alarm back on before going to bed Wednesday evening. Thankfully, I have become an early riser so, while I had to hurry, I was on time.


Then, I had a very busy night. I often don't sleep. Last night I did, but my sleep was filled with dreams! All about being rejected by everyone with whom I came in contact. Friends, relatives, even strangers. Everyone. Fear of rejection much? LOL They were mostly silly dreams of unreal situations, but nonetheless, I thought about the fact that I am obviously - let's say "bothered" by the possibility of rejection.

There has been a lot of "rejection" in my life the last couple years. Sometimes I've been the rejector. I don't like that! At all! Hurting someone for any reason, even if for the best, is not something I enjoy! I have also been the one rejected. I don't like that either! Friends I would have thought would never abandon me have become distant, mere acquaintances, if that. (As an aside, widowhood is not catching and I don't want your husband!) I have been rejected by potential employers, by dates who didn't understand I meant it when I said "I don't do that" until I enforced it, and by family members who accepted me only through Al. Though I broke up with Harlan, I feel rejected by him - a double whammy. And, in some ways, I have felt rejected by God because, in my humanness, when He didn't give me my way, it felt like abandonment. Of course we all know that "no" just means "not this" or "not now", it does not mean abandonment. But still, it felt like rejection. I have often felt a bit like the hotdog looking for an accepting bun and found myself not really belonging anywhere, having no "home".

So, this morning, because I rose late, rather than having my focused time with God, I had to pray on the go and have my morning devotional at lunch. And I realized how important that time is! And it also made me think about how it must make God feel when we don't put Him first. Above sleep. Or work. Or human relationships. Or entertainment. Or whatever else we find to occupy our time leaving little or no time for Him. Essentially, we reject Him. It doesn't feel any better to him than it does to us! And it is multiplied many times over because He is rejected so much more often and by so many more than we ever could be.

And still, He is faithful! Still He loves us. Still He calls us. I love Revelation 3:20:

Behold, I stand at the door and knock.

If anyone hears My voice and opens the door,

I will come in to him,

and will dine with him,

and he with Me.

That the God of the Universe, Creator of everything, would seek us, come knocking seeking acceptance, is amazing and more gracious than is fathomable!

Today, I am grateful for a God who, in spite of my rejection of Him, His commands, His direction, His guidance, NEVER rejects me! No, instead, He seeks me out. Calls me! Woos me! Begs me to let Him in! Thank You, Daddy God!