I want to tell you about my beloved.
Al was a big man!
In every way!
Intimidatingly so!
Physically,
he was just over six feet tall. To say he was broad shouldered was a tremendous understatement. A football player and weight lifter in his youth, he built on his naturally large frame until, at his physical zenith, he proudly had a 54 inch chest, a 32 inch waist, and biceps that were larger than my waist. Over the years, babies and providing for his family took over weight lifting and he lost the tiny little waist and replaced it with a good cookin' tummy. But the muscle mass and amazing strength never left him. He was a formidable presence physically. And I loved that about him! He made me feel small and delicate.
Emotionally,
he was an open book. One always knew how he felt about them - or anything else for that matter. He was firm and strong and steady in all his emotions. He loved deeply, completely, unconditionally, no matter what. His family was paramount to him! He loved me, his children, including the sons he had by marriage for he considered them his just as surely as the girls, his grandchildren, his parents, his siblings, those people were his life. Anything and anyone else was peripheral. He also hurt deeply. I always knew immediately when I had wounded him. He didn't say anything most of the time, but I knew. It always made me think of a small animal. His eyes told on him. His face gave him away. Whether I had done it inadvertently (usually) or purposely (I'm ashamed to admit that), I always felt immediate regret. Because he wounded so deeply. But his love for others always superseded any wound they might have caused him and his big ol' arms would come around them - me - and he would inhale the presence of that loved one, allowing the love to wash away the hurt.
Spiritually,
he was the biggest man I ever knew! He loved The Lord with all his heart and strove daily, moment by moment, to serve Him completely. He always felt a failure because our human nature is a carnal, fallen one, and we are not perfected here on this earth. He was very hard on himself. He never wanted to disappoint anyone, but most especially God. And when facing trials that would have sent lesser men to abandon their faith, Al kept on persevering, remained faithful to his Lord and Saviour! I have read the Book of Job several times in the last few years. Al reminded me very much of Job. "Do what you will, God. I don't like it, but I won't quit!"
Mentally,
he was one of the most brilliant men I ever knew! He knew a little bit about everything and a lot about most things! He had a thirst for knowledge unlike any other I've ever seen. He could do anything because he could figure out how! And yet, he had good common sense!
Playful
to a fault, he loved toys, both big boy and little boy style. He had a tremendous ability to be silly and have fun! He was just as happy shooting a BB gun as a 45, playing with a toy bow and arrow as with one of his cross-bows. He enjoyed playing. He played with our grandchildren, he played with me, he played a lot. It gave him joy. And it was fun to be a part of his playtime whatever it was. I admit, our kids and I used to sometimes roll our eyes, but we joined in and laughed and played right along with him. In that respect, the most adult man I ever knew, never grew up. And I'm really glad about that! Because sometimes even adults need to play!
I was very privileged to be loved by this man. I was not merely loved, I was adored. The sun and moon rose and set around me in his eyes. I was truly the love of his life. He cherished me. Cared for me. Loved me when I wasn't likable. Loved me with a depth and breadth and height that no poem could ever accurately portray. Very few are so honored by another human being. I was one of the blessed who was!
Today, I am grateful for the 42 birthdays I had the joy of helping him celebrate on this earth. I wish I'd had 42 more!
I love you babe! With all my heart! I always will! Thank you for choosing me!
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