I am a grown up!

Yes, I am now an adult!
I used to think I was, but I was wrong.
When I turned 13, I was pretty sure I was.
At 16, I got a "real job" and that proved it!
At 18, I got married
      duh......
            ALL grown up!
Then I had babies,
      learned to drink coffee,
            graduated from college.
Grown up for sure!
My children married,
      grandchildren came along,
            I became the matriarch.
Surely that made me a grown up!
Then my husband died,
      grief and sorrow became my companions,
            I began a relationship,
                  broke it off,
                        more grief and sorrow,
                              and I aged,
but I now know I was still not a grown up.
Nope.
In order to be a grown up,
      one must develop an ulcer.
NOW I am a grown up!

Can I go back back to not being a grown up?
Please....