Tangled

It has been a very tangled week!
Many emotions spilling over one another,
battling for supremacy in me.
What to think.
How to feel.
What to believe.
Oy vey!

Following a good sermon on James 1:2-4,
and a Sunday School lesson on Habbakuk 1,
my two favorite Books of Scripture,
I headed to the cemetery.
I do a lot of my best sorting out there.
It's quiet, peaceful, and, for the most part,
no one disturbs you.

So, James had this to say.

Dear brothers and sisters,

whenever trouble comes your way,

let it be an opportunity for joy.

For when your faith is tested,

your endurance has a chance to grow.

So let it grow,

for when your endurance is fully developed,

you will be strong in character and ready for anything.

                                                                                 ~~ James 1:2-4 NLT ~~

And Habakkuk, this (my very favorite Scripture passage):

How long, O Lord, must I call for help?

But you do not listen!

"Violence!"

I cry, but You do not come to save.

Must I forever see this sin and misery all around me?

Wherever I look, I see destruction and violence.

I am surrounded by people who love to argue and fight.

The law has become paralyzed and useless,

and there is no justice given in the courts.

The wicked far outnumber the righteous,

and justice is perverted with bribes and trickery.

(Here it comes!)

The Lord replied,

"Look at the nations and be amazed!

Watch and be astounded at what I will do!

For I am doing something in your own day,

something you wouldn't believe even if someone told you about it."

                                                                                       ~~ Habbakuk 1:2-5 NLT ~~

Those of you who are regular readers know that

in January, I committed to choosing joy again!

Some days that is easy -

especially since my Lanny Love came into my life -

some days it is difficult.

Since my birthday,

several things have happened that have been very confusing,

so joy has, once again, 

had to become a conscious choice some days.

And that's okay.

We all have those periods.

But overall, I have been truly "astounded at what [God has done]"

in my life over the last several months.

So, this morning, following church services,

I went to the cemetery, 

as I often do on Sunday after church,

to sit with Al for a bit.

And do some sorting.

I spent some time talking to Al
about where my life is heading

and my confusion over the last couple weeks.

I spent some time talking to the Lord 

about where my life is heading

and my confusion over the last couple weeks.

And then I visited two more graves.

One, a surrogate grave.

One, the grave of the spouse of a friend also battling some confusion.

(As I have said before, this widowhood thing is so complicated!)

And I talked to the person represented by the surrogate grave.

And I talked to God.

And I talked to my friend's spouse.

And I talked to God.

And the tangles in my emotions began to unknot a bit.

They began to loosen.

God moved and began to calm.

Assure.

Understand.

Forgive.

Strengthen.

One of the things our pastor said this morning

is that many believe that once they are saved,

once they have given their life over to Christ,

that there will be no more problems,

no more heartache,

no more temptations,

no more - anything but happiness.

That is absolutely not true!

Matthew 5:45 NLT tells us,

For He gives His sunlight to both the evil and the good,

and he sends rain on the just and on the unjust, too.

 

So it's okay to be tangled.

Because God allows those tangling situations

for our strengthening and His glory!

And because He is astounding!

He brings peace and joy in the midst of the storms!

We just have to allow it.

The Lord is my strength and my shield;

my heart trusts in Him,

and He helps me.

My heart leaps for joy,

and with my song I praise Him.

                                                                 ~~ Psalm28:7 NIV ~~