Life (Bloom)

"I laughed so hard my stomach hurt. I'd pay for it later tonight and probably the next three days, but every second of pain would be worth the way I felt right now.

 Mmm, I breathed in. Welcoming life back into my heart. "Life," I whispered to myself, "I love you."

Anastasia reached her arms around my neck and squeezed. "Life loves you, too."

Amazing how much more you appreciate the little things whan all the big things are taken from you."

~~ "Bloom" by Marilyn Grey ~~  

 This chapter, Chapter 9, is the beginning of healing for Sarah. Oh, not physical healing, no. She had begun her physical healing months and months earlier. Right after the fire. Right after everything changed. Right after life left her.

 But emotional healing had been slower. You know, that point when you realize that you don't want to die after all. That there is life after loss.

 Sarah didn't really want to come back to life. Her loss was so great that the thought of living with it was overwhelming.

 I understand.

                         Al's diagnosis

                                     The job I loved

                                                 The home with memories

                                                             Al's death

                                                                        The life I knew

                                                                                     The dreams I had

                                                                                                  Harlan

                                                                                                               The dreams

                                                                                                                            Hope

                                                                                                                                               Life...


Why bother?

I hung on because Al wanted me to. Wanted me to live. But it didn't work.

Why keep trying?

Trying again just meant more pain, more loss.

Why risk it all again?

Because, LIFE is out there! 

It comes softly. Little snippets of happiness. Two snippets. Three.

And before you know it, you are loving life again!

Life never stopped loving you!

 For life is a gift from God! And God loves us infinitely. All the time! Never ending! Always! No matter what!

 I walk every night. It's good for me. Get's my blood pumping. Relieves stress. Get's the endorphins flowing. The last half mile is always hard. It's mostly uphill. I'm tired. I want to quit. But I can see my house from there.

Air conditioning

Cool water

Soothing tubbie

Soft chair

 So I push. Harder. Force myself up that hill. All the while looking at my goal. Home. Comfort.

 Is misery all it's cracked up to be? Hopelessness? Helplessness? Longing for what is lost, what you can never, ever have again? 

No. It's not.

 So hang on! And I'll hang on with you! Keep your eyes focused on the goal - life and God. Our snippets are just around the corner! Start looking for them! Start appreciating the little things! It's where life begins again!

"Don't be afraid, for I am with you.

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you.

I will help you.

 I will uphold you with my victorious right hand...

...I am hold you by your right hand -

I, the Lord your God.

And I say to you,

"Do not be afraid.

I am here to help you."

Isaiah 41:10, 13 NLT