Everyday miracles happen every day

 

Don't you love little miracles?

Okay, miracles

for no miracle is little.

 

I experienced a “miracle” recently.

It was personal and in the grand scheme of things

pretty insignificant.

Except to me.

And isn't that always the way?

 

I mean, let's be honest here,

the lame man walking mattered mostly to him.

The blind man seeing mattered mostly to him.

I realize that all miracles ripple and touch others,

but they really and truly matter only to those directly affected.

Except Jesus’ resurrection,

that matters to everyone!

 

Recently, I experienced a “miracle.”

Now, some will roll their eyes and say

“That wasn’t a miracle, it was a mistake.”

But I know my God!

And more to the point,

 

my God knows me!

 

So when I mistook Isaiah for Psalms one morning,

and the chapter in Isaiah was exactly what I needed,

and I had read and marked several sections,

marveling at the appropriate timing of my daily Psalm reading schedule,

before realizing I had turned to Isaiah not Psalms,

well, I knew my God was at work in my life.

Again!

 

Everyday miracles happen every day!!!

We just have to notice them!

 

Thank You, Daddy God!

 

Isaiah 51 NCV

 

…The LORD says, “I am the one who comforts you.

So why should you be afraid of people, who die?

Why should you fear people who die like the grass”

Have you forgotten the LORD who made you,

who stretched out the skies and made the earth?

Why are you always afraid

of those angry people who trouble you

and who want to destroy?...

…I am the LORD your God,

who stirs the sea and makes the waves roar.

My name is the LORD All-Powerful.

I will give you the words I want you to say.

I will cover you with my hands and protect you.

 

Verses 12-13,15-16

(Emphasis added)

40 Years

Forty years is a long time!

480 months!

2080 weeks!

14,610 days!

 

Forty years ago today

 

Ronald Regan was President of the United States of America

Margaret Thatcher was Prime Minister of Great Britain 

the number one song was "Jessie's Girl" by Rick Springfield

Donkey Kong was released

Chris Evert had just won Wimbledon for the third time

John McEnroe had just won for the fifth time

Sandra Day O'Connor had just become the first female Supreme Court Justice

Price Charles and Lady Diana Spencer had just married

 

 

 

And 40 years ago today,

Lanny and Judy became Mr. & Mrs.

 

Great love deserves to be celebrated!

Great loss demands to be grieved!

This dichotomy makes days like this difficult.

 

 

 

 

It is not that we grieve without hope.

The Bible is clear that,

as disciples of Christ, we are not to 

"grieve like...those who have no hope" (I Thessalonians 4:13 NIV)

because we know that Christ died and rose again

so that we could have eternal life, 

living forever with Him in Heaven.

And so, we look with joy to the day

when we will worship at the scarred feet of Jesus

with our loved ones gone on before.

BUT...

That command does not mean that those human emotions

of love and loss and grief

will not be present in a disciple of Christ!

And - and this is just my opinion -

I believe that for those who serve Him,

who love as He loves,

those emotions may be even deeper, more intense

because - and this will likely be an unpopular opinion -

I believe the Bible supports that His disciples do love more deeply.

 

A new command I give you: 

Love one another. 

As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

                                                                                               ~~ John 13:34 NIV 

 

Since Christ loved us enough to leave Heaven,

suffer the indignities of birth,

be ostrocized, physically abused, and killed,

spend three days in the grave paying for our sin

(that sinful nature with which we are born)

and sins (those sinful things we have done),

since He loved us that much,

and since, as His disciples,

we are to love as He loves,

I believe that we do love more deeply and completely.

Part of that love is the emotional "affection" we feel.

And part of that love is the emotional reaction

to the physical, earthly death and 

"for the rest of our earthly lives"

loss of that deeply loved and cherished,

that "two shall become one" (Mark 10:8),

that closest human being in our lives.

There is no shame in that grief!!!

  

So today, as my Lanny Love grieves this greatest of earthly losses,

I grieve with him.

As he celebrates this greatest of both earthly and eternal gifts ~ love,

I celebrate with him!

Because that is what love does.

 

And isn't that a marvelous gift!!!

 

 

 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels,

but have not love,

I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

And if I have prophetic powers,

and understand all mysteries and all knowledge,

and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains,

but have not love,

I am nothing.

If I give away all I have,

and if I deliver up my body to be burned,

but have not love,

I gain nothing.

 

Love is patient and kind;

love does not envy or boast;

it is not arrogant or rude.

It does not insist on its own way;

it is not irritable or resentful;

it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things,

believes all things,

hopes all things,

endures all things.

 

Love never ends.

As for prophecies,

they will pass away;

as for tongues, they will cease;

as for knowledge, it will pass away.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part,

but when the perfect comes,

the partial will pass away.

 

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.

When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face.

Now I know in part;

then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

 

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three;

but the greatest of these is love.

 

~~ 1 Corinthians 13 ESV

 

 

 

Hidden influence

I have a precious young friend whom I have known for several years

but with whom I only recently really developed a relationship. 

You see, I was difficult for her.

She loved Judy, my Lanny Love's late wife, deeply.

Judy had taught my friend's son in elementary school

and was a valued mentor both in her work as a new teacher

and spiritually as a growing Christian.

It is not easy to lose someone you love and value

and I was a difficult reminder of her loss.

While I was aware that there was "something" there,

we didn't have a "difficult" relationship,

we simply didn't have one.

On the few occasions where we were together socially,

we didn't interact with one another during our "mingling"

outside of polite hellos and brief conversation.

Then an event occurred and we had need to interact over several days.

We began to build a mutual respect and "liking" for each other.

A few days later, we talked about her friendship with Judy,

her emotions over the loss of her friend and mentor, 

and my presence in my Lanny Love's life.

It was a healing time for both of us as it turned out.

We have since discovered that we have a LOT in common

and developed a loving friendship!

I shared our discussion with my Lanny Love

and he was surprised that she had had a difficult time accepting me.

He commented that he didn't realize that 

Judy was so important in this sweet woman's life.

I wonder if Judy knew.

 

Recently, I shared with another friend

how precious she is to me.

She was shocked.

 

I have often been shocked to discover that

I was more important to someone

than I realized.

 

We are so often unaware of the influence,

both positive and negative,

that we have over the lives of people with whom we come in contact.

The smallest words of encouragement or discouragement,

can make a permanent impact.

The smallest act of kindness or thoughtfulness

can live in a heart for a lifetime.

 

I am working toward being more cognizant of my "humor"

because something I mean as sarcastically funny

may be piercing to the individual to whom I said it.

I am practicing holding my tongue when I am emotional

because a word spoken in haste and not meant

can never be unheard by the person to whom we said it.

And I am working toward letting people know

that they are important to me

because most of us don't realize our value to others!

I am reminded of the following story which I heard for the first time several years ago:

One day, a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.  It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list.

Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!" and, "I didn't know others liked me so much," were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. The teacher never found out if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student.  She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature. The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. She nodded: "Yes." Then he said: "Mark talked about you a lot."

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were also there, wanting to speak with his teacher.

"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it."

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

"Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home."  Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album." "I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary"

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said.  Without batting an eyelash, she continued, "I think we all saved our lists."

Tears rolled down the eyes of the humble teacher.  We encounter so many people in our lives, and it's a precious joy to see the good in all those journeys.

 

Over the last year or so,

I have pondered this a lot...

 

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 

not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, 

but encouraging one another, 

and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. 

 ~~ Hebrews 10:24-25

Changes

The “coming soon” sign goes up today.

In just under three weeks, the “coming soon” comes off

and it will be “live”.

 

It has been a decision more than a year in the making.

It has involved a lot of conversations.

With each other, with our children, with our God.

Weighing the pros and cons.

Should we or shouldn’t we.

About six months ago, it began being clear –

we should.

It’s time.

 

Our reasons for purchasing this particular house were varied.

First, we loved it!

Nearly 100 years old, in a charming historic neighborhood,

it was everything but one that we both wanted,

felt we needed for that point in our lives

and for the rest of our lives.

We still love it!

But some of the other reasons for purchasing this home have changed.

 

And so, we made the decision to sell.

 

Now, I have lived a life of flux.

We moved a lot when I was a child.

Not just houses,

different cities, different states.

When my Al and I were first married,

we were gypsies.

I adapted, because you just do,

but I always longed for a forever home.

In 1994, we moved to Parker Street.

We lived and loved there for nearly 20 years.

I was “home” at last.

 

Then the diagnosis.

The move to Short Oaks nearer our children.

Six months sharing that space.

Then widowhood.

 

I have had a difficult, difficult time with change

since that “D” day.

I need time now.

Time to work through the “terrified” emotions.

Time to work through the grief of another loss.

 

I had no doubt.

Selling was right.

But, the grief was profound!

Our beautiful home,

the place I thought I would only leave feet first,

the “pushing it down with all my might” fear

that God was once again preparing me for a life alone.

How I struggled!!!

For months!

 

Then very early one April morning,

after a very long night of struggle and tears and prayer

God spoke.

I want to share with you an excerpt from my prayer journal on that amazing morning.

 

Oh God!

 

Thank you for revealing yourself to me!

I have so struggled with the thought of leaving this beautiful, big house.

But tonight you have shown me.

 

This home was a gift from You!

A place where Lanny and I could become one,

grow in our love outside of rooms that were steeped in shadows of the past,

yet big enough to allow us to meld our lives together 

with a minimum of sacrificial loss.

A place large enough to give our children time to learn that

we did not want to erase their lost parent from each other’s lives.

A place large enough that we could serve You and Your people well within its walls.

A place that You knew would secure our financial future in an unexpected way.

 

I have wondered why two sales on my house have fallen through.

But you have used that house to launch my grandsons into adulthood safely.

You provided us with a place of business.

You provided a transitional home for my daughter and her family

between the sale of her house and the purchase of another.

And now that house will open doors to allow our travel dreams to be realized

and open new and exciting avenues of ministry.

 

This move is not a loss!

Rather it is continued moving in Your plan for us!

 

You did not have to reveal this much ~

thank You that You did!

 

There is more from that night of revelation that I may share another time,

but for this moment,

I am still in awe of His goodness and mercy and grace!

He did not have to reveal Himself to me,

did not have to reveal why our time here was finished.

Yet He did.

Because I, His child,

His precious, beloved, cherished child,

I was struggling.

And He wanted to teach me ~

yet again ~

He wanted to teach me that His ways are perfect!

His plan is where I walk each moment.

 

He does not always reveal Himself so clearly as He did that long night.

Sometimes I never know the why’s ~

and the excerpt I have shared with you 

may not seem like a lot of revealing,

but the parts too intimate to share 

with anyone but God and my Lanny Love

speak very deeply to my heart ~

sometimes I never know because sometimes,

it is not for me to know ~

 

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. . . .

As the heavens are higher than the earth,

 so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

~~  Isaiah 55:9

 

And sometimes, I wouldn’t understand or believe it even if He told me ~

 

“Watch and be amazed and shocked

 I will do something in your lifetime

that you won’t believe even when you are told about it.”

~~ Habakkuk 1:5

 

How I love Him!

How I praise Him for who and what He is!

How I delight in Him!

May I never fail to give Him my all,

to trust Him absolutely!

 

 

Planning a funeral

Have you ever planned a funeral?

I have.

Several times.

There are the logistics.

Picking a funeral home, coffin, burial site.

Choosing the songs, scripture, poems.

Meeting with the minister.

 

 

Meeting with the minister.

Telling the stories that make you weep with laughter

and those that make you weep with loss.

Hearing the wonderful stories of the other family members and friends,

the stories you didn't know

of how the life of your loved one changed the lives of so many. 

I've always kind of thought that it would be interesting

to be like Huck Finn - "drop in" on my own funeral.

Or like Sophia Patrillo and throw my own wake -

then show up as a late arriving guest from the room where I had been listening in.

But while they got to hear all the wonderful things people said about them,

the situations didn't really turn out in their favor,

so maybe not...

But today, as I have said farewell to someone important in my life

(through a move to another city, not through death)

I found myself wondering.

 

Why do we wait until we have lost someone 

to tell them how much we love, admire, and respect them, 

how very important they are to us? 

 

Since Al's death,

I have worked diligently to correct that fault in myself.

One of the things my moving friend said to me this week

was how he and his wife had appreciated my kind words and encouraging notes

over the past several years.

It made me glad that I had made the effort to let them know!

Today, I'd like to challenge you to look at your people.

I'd like you to think about what you would say about them at their funeral,

then I'd like to encourage you to say it to them
while they are still here!

Plan a funeral.

Or two.

Or a dozen.....

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.” 

~~ 1 John 4:7 ~~

The mouth, it's always the mouth...

My written communication skills are far superior to my verbal.

Oh, I don't mean I don't speak well

or have a proper command of the English language,

I mean I am not quickly comfortable in conversations.

I can make prepared speeches -

or even impromptu ones -

in front of thousands and enjoy it immensely,

I can reveal my heart to the world in blog form,

but social mingling,

whether with a single person or a small group,

leaves me quaking in my boots!

 

I am a relatively quiet person.

It normally takes me a long while

to feel comfortable sharing much of myself in conversation.

I do understand that those of you who know me well

and with whom I am comfortable

are scratching your heads in amazement.

Just think back to when we first met.

Polite, attentive, rarely commenting

revealing little personal depth when I did.

I especially dislike dissenting conversations,

even with those I know well.

My daughter is fond of saying 

I can call a person a dirty so-and-so in writing

and make them like it.

But I am lousy at conversational confrontations!

In writing, I have time.

I can form my thoughts,

write them down,

change the phrasing,

soften the words,

make my "tone of voice" gentle and kind.

However, because I avoid confrontation

and am more likely to just let things slide,

by the time I am willing to speak in disagreement,

I am too passionate and emotional to do it well.

 

And yes, I am a passionate and emotional person.

I do not apologize for that.

It is how God created me.

But His intention was for me to use my passions and emotions wisely,

for His glory and honor,

and my tongue cautiously,

not just act and speak on them willy-nilly.

 

A few months ago,

I had such a confrontation.

It was with a person with whom 

I was struggling to build a relationship -

somewhat unsuccessfully for reasons unknown to me.

One day, I was in the presence of this individual

who was speaking with my husband, not me.

And I commented.

Now, what I said was completely unoffensive.

But it was in disagreement with the person's opinion.

It led to a longer conversation.

One that we both found "appalling".

They said some things,

I said some things.

They wrote two letters to my husband,

who was part of the conversation,

explaining in explicit detail

how offensive we, I, had been,

that my comments were "horrible".

I didn't mean to be offensive.

But I offended the person

and that made it offensive.

And when I reflect honestly on the conversation,

I can see that some of what I said could have been heard offensively.

I was not wrong.

But it was inappropriate of me to speak.

And because I was so shocked at some of the comments,

my emotions and passion took over,

and my tongue was not controlled.

My comments did not change either of our convictions that we were in the right.

It did, however, confirm to them that they were right about me,

that they had been right in refusing a relationship with me beyond cordialness.

Now, the relationship I had prayed for and worked toward,

will very likely never be.

More, it appears to have cost me relationships with three people,

who have no doubt heard the other side of the story,

whom I love, admire, and deeply respect,

and with whom I had excellent relationships.

It is the only explanation for the cool politeness I now receive from them.

The cost of my speaking out was far too high!

 

The fact that what I said was true does not matter.

It probably did need to be said.

But not by me.

It was inappropriate under the circumstances.

And it was inappropriate from me.

Most egregious of all, I did not listen for 

the Holy Spirit's leading before I spoke.

Isn't that the way?

I suppose there are times when we feel we "got away with it",

when the consequences are not as obvious as they were in this case -

or as painful.

But just because they don't show

doesn't mean they aren't there!

 

I find that I remind myself in this instance

of a well-known public figure.

I agree with most of what he says,

but most of what he says

should be kept to himself

until he has had time to think and get some advice on how to say it -

advice which should be heeded.

This is not the person I want to be!

 

The Book of James

has been my "go to" for many years

when dealing with the issue of my passionate emotions and tongue.

I have read and reread it so often

that I have it memorized in a couple translations.

And yet...

 

Lord God, help me to learn!

 

My dear brothers and sisters,

always be willing to listen and slow to speak.

Do not become angry [emotional] easily,

because anger [emotion] will not help you live the right kind of life God wants. 

 

~~ James 1:19-20 NCV ~~ 

Oh how He loves you and me!

I want to talk about love.
Love is good!
In fact, love is GREAT!!!
I love love!
But I have come to the conclusion that
most people don't understand the difference
between love and affection.
And there is a difference!
A HUGE difference!

You see, affection is that warm squishy feeling.
The feeling that makes you weep when you hold your newborn.
That feeling that makes you swell with pride
when they walk across the stage.
That feeling that gives you butterflies
when "he" walks into the room.
That feeling that overwhelms you
when "she" walks down the aisle toward you!
Affection is what I get out of love.
It feels good!
It warms me to my core!
It's easy!

As long as things are going well.

Affection is the emotion of love.
And emotions are fickle!
They can quickly turn from warm and squishy
to hurt or anger or hatred.

But love,
love is different.
Love isn't what you get
it's what you give!
And sometimes it's really, really hard!

Love is what you give to that sweet newborn

who has turned into a sassy teenager

and you don't "take her out of this world".

Love is what you give when "he" has said or done

something insensitive and hurtful

and you forgive ~

and diligently work to forget! ~

instead of making him pay.

Love is what you give when she comes home

with three new outfits ~ 

and shoes and purses to match~

and you tell her how beautiful she looks in them

rather than saying that she spends too much.

Love is what you give to someone with whom you disagree,

and maybe don't even like very well.

Love is what you give when you stay

even though it would be easier to go.

Love is what you give to those 

who behave badly.

And it is what's given to you

when you are behaving badly!

Love is a gift you give ~

and receive ~

when what is felt

tells you to behave differently than you want to or should!

Love is that thing that God gave

in the gift of His Son,

that thing that made Jesus 

not call 10,000 angels to take Him off the cross.

As I have thought of Jesus during this Holy Week,

the adulation of the crowds,

the Last Passover Feast He would celebrate as a man,

the arrest, mockery of a trial,

the abandonment and betrayal from those who knew Him best,

the cross,

"My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?"

the tomb...

I am awed that He loved me so much!

 

I find myself thinking of Peter,

with whom I identify strongly,

and wonder, would I have said,

"I don't know Him!"

I think of my impassioned emotions

saying how I love Him,

how desperately I want to be His reflection

in all I say and do.

And I wonder.

 

I wonder if I love as He loved,

no matter what.

Enough to forgo my own wants and needs

for those who dislike me,

don't appreciate me,

turn on me.

I wonder.

 

May God's Spirit so fill me

that I would willingly climb on a cross

if He asked me to!

Not just for those who give me warm, fuzzy emotions,

but for those I struggle to love.

 

Teach me, Daddy God, to love well,

to love as You love!