Hidden influence

I have a precious young friend whom I have known for several years

but with whom I only recently really developed a relationship. 

You see, I was difficult for her.

She loved Judy, my Lanny Love's late wife, deeply.

Judy had taught my friend's son in elementary school

and was a valued mentor both in her work as a new teacher

and spiritually as a growing Christian.

It is not easy to lose someone you love and value

and I was a difficult reminder of her loss.

While I was aware that there was "something" there,

we didn't have a "difficult" relationship,

we simply didn't have one.

On the few occasions where we were together socially,

we didn't interact with one another during our "mingling"

outside of polite hellos and brief conversation.

Then an event occurred and we had need to interact over several days.

We began to build a mutual respect and "liking" for each other.

A few days later, we talked about her friendship with Judy,

her emotions over the loss of her friend and mentor, 

and my presence in my Lanny Love's life.

It was a healing time for both of us as it turned out.

We have since discovered that we have a LOT in common

and developed a loving friendship!

I shared our discussion with my Lanny Love

and he was surprised that she had had a difficult time accepting me.

He commented that he didn't realize that 

Judy was so important in this sweet woman's life.

I wonder if Judy knew.

 

Recently, I shared with another friend

how precious she is to me.

She was shocked.

 

I have often been shocked to discover that

I was more important to someone

than I realized.

 

We are so often unaware of the influence,

both positive and negative,

that we have over the lives of people with whom we come in contact.

The smallest words of encouragement or discouragement,

can make a permanent impact.

The smallest act of kindness or thoughtfulness

can live in a heart for a lifetime.

 

I am working toward being more cognizant of my "humor"

because something I mean as sarcastically funny

may be piercing to the individual to whom I said it.

I am practicing holding my tongue when I am emotional

because a word spoken in haste and not meant

can never be unheard by the person to whom we said it.

And I am working toward letting people know

that they are important to me

because most of us don't realize our value to others!

I am reminded of the following story which I heard for the first time several years ago:

One day, a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.  It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list.

Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!" and, "I didn't know others liked me so much," were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. The teacher never found out if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student.  She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature. The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. She nodded: "Yes." Then he said: "Mark talked about you a lot."

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were also there, wanting to speak with his teacher.

"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it."

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

"Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home."  Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album." "I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary"

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said.  Without batting an eyelash, she continued, "I think we all saved our lists."

Tears rolled down the eyes of the humble teacher.  We encounter so many people in our lives, and it's a precious joy to see the good in all those journeys.

 

Over the last year or so,

I have pondered this a lot...

 

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 

not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, 

but encouraging one another, 

and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. 

 ~~ Hebrews 10:24-25