Kenya

My Lanny Love is leaving for Kenya tomorrow.
He will be gone for 15 days counting the day he leaves
and the day he returns.

Now, I've known since before I even met him
that he would be taking this trip.
But since our relationship became serious
it has bothered me more and more.
Of course there is the expected
"I'll sure miss him while he's gone!"
feeling that is natural when you are away
from someone you love.
But that's not what bothers me.
There is the
"Sure wish I could go with him to minister!"
that is natural for someone who
has spent most of her adult life ministering
in one form or another.
But that's not what bothers me.

I'm scared!

Terrified!

Petrified!

That's what bothers me!

I was nervous,
              concerned,
                             fearful,
when he went to Brazil last month.
And I prayed and prayed for him
and the rest of the team.
But this thing I'm experiencing now is different.
It isn't mere nervousness over his traveling out of the country
during these volatile political times.
It isn't simple concern for his safety.
It isn't even your garden variety,
good, old-fashioned fear.
This is terror.
This is unreasonable.
This is a full-blown attack of satan!

Oh, I know that my recent history
explains why he is using this trip as his tool.
I have lost a lot in the last several years.
It's been hard!
And some of my losses are associated with foreign soil.
So it's understandable that this
is an emotionally charged situation for me,
but it is not okay to display such a lack of
               faith,
                              trust,
in my Creator,
                              my Protector.
My Lanny Love's Creator,
                                                         his Protector!

I've grown tremendously in my spiritual life
as a result of my losses!
And that has really ticked satan off!
And so, he is using my Lanny Love,
a wonderful gift from God,
as a tool to separate me from The Father.
He has attempted to use him,
our love for one another,
in several ways to try to separate us from God.
He has used other people.
He has used our late spouses.
He has used our naturally growing desires.
And he is using my fear of yet another loss.

BUT he WILL NOT SUCCEED!!!

So I come to you, my dear readers,
confessing publicly to you and to God,
that I am afraid.
I covet your prayers for my Lanny Love's safety.
And I covet your prayers for my spirit.

Fear not, for I am with you; 

be not dismayed, for I am your God; 

I will strengthen you, I will help you, 

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 

                                                                                      Isaiah 41:10 ESV 

Do not be anxious about anything, 

but in everything by prayer and supplication 

with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 

And the peace of God, 

which surpasses all understanding, 

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

                                                                                      Phillipians 4:6-7 ESV

For God gave us a spirit not of fear 

but of power and love and self-control.

                                                                              2 Timothy 1:7 ESV

Be strong and courageous. 

Do not fear or be in dread of them, 

for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. 

He will not leave you or forsake you.

                                                                                   Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV 

I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. 

                                                                       Psalm 34:4 ESV 

Have I not commanded you? 

Be strong and courageous. 

Do not be frightened, 

and do not be dismayed, 

for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

                                                                 Joshua 1:9 ESV