Almost there...

I sometimes wonder

if I spend too much time

thinking about things.

 

Things from the past.

Things from today.

Things I hope for tomorrow.

The things that make my life unique.

Things in general.

The things of widowhood and remarriage...

That's the real one.

Things of widowhood and remarriage.

 

But, really, that is, after all, my life.

I am a remarried widow

married to a remarried widower.

And our lives consist of the four of us.

In all things.

Our very existence as a couple

is because we are widowed.

Our very existence as a couple

is because we so enjoyed being married

that we came to realize

a life outside of marriage was not 

how we wanted to spend the rest of our lives.

And because we so enjoyed being married

we think of them often.

And it was absolutely the right thing for us

because we so enjoy being married to each other!

 

We are both in our tenth year of widowhood,

Lanny's tenth year is just getting going good,

mine is morphing into the eleventh in less than two weeks.

For me, this tenth year has been one of the more difficult.

 

This year, my Al has been extra near in my thoughts,

an almost constant presence again,

right beside my Lanny Love.

In the third and fourth years

both my Lanny Love and I had a problem.

A month into my third year,

we began dating,

and just before the start of my fourth,

we married.

Can I be honest?

During those years, he sometimes called me Judy

and I sometimes called him Al.

After all, we had spoken loving, romantic words

using only those names for several decades.

I have had to be careful of that again this year.

Because my Al is never far away.

And because I still love him and would,

but for death,

still be his.

And he, hers.

 

As I approach the tenth anniversary I have struggled.

The last year brought a lot of change

and I don't care for change,

it upsets my apple cart and 

the little buggers scatter everywhere!

While I never loved major change,

it didn't rock my boat so much before.

But with widowhood came an aversion to it.

And to talking on the phone.

Who knows...........

Added to the tenth year,

and the significance we attach to anniversaries in tens,

well, it's been a difficult year.

But I'm almost there.

Life has mostly settled again.

I am beginning at last to feel at home

in our new house.

And the tenth year is almost done.

The memories that come with each day now

as "the" day draws nearer,

will soon be fulfilled

and another year will start.

Each year is different

and I find myself wondering

what the eleventh will hold...

 

This is what I know.

Life is good!!!

I have been and continue to be blessed

in the life God has given me!

I have the privilege of loving a wonderful man who died.

I have the privilege of loving a wonderful man who lived.

Life is good!!!

You make known to me the path of life;

in your presence there is fullness of joy;

at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. 

                ~~ Psalm 16:11 ~~