Awareness

Most of you probably aren't even aware there is such a day.
I wasn't until 2014, the first time I was one on this day.
It is National Widows Day.
And I really don't get it.

It is certainly not a celebration!
It is intended for awareness as near as I can tell.
Most of us know a widow

 - or widower - 

and are aware that they have lost their spouse.
Widows and widowers are certainly aware and don't need to be reminded!
And a "day" won't make anyone understand the depth of loss until they experience it.

So what exactly is this day supposed to do for the widowed?
Are there runs for the cause?

No.

Are there events to benefit those left behind?

No.

I don't get it.

Many of my new widow friends embrace this day.
They post about it and advise their FB followers to hug a widow today,
do something kind for them.
Shouldn't we do that daily?
Do we need a day,

once a year,

to know that widowed people are lonely,

that they've lost more than a spouse,

that they crave someone, anyone, to hug them?

Maybe so.
Maybe we do need to be reminded.

As I said, no one can really understand until they've been there.
I didn't.
I had no clue!
Even as I prepared for Al to leave this world,
walked him to the veil that separates this world from the next,
I didn't know!
Widowhood changes everything!
Right down to one's very personality.
And the losses don't stop with the death of your spouse.
You lose your lifestyle.
You lose income.
You lose friends.

Why is that?

Widowhood is not catching!

And we don't want your husbands or wives,

we want our own!

We need you more now than we ever have!

You lose your sense of identity.

You lose your handyman.

Or your cook and housekeeper.

You lose your bookkeeper and bill-payer

- men and women both -

and financial advisor. 

You lose your lover.

You lose your friend.

You lose yourself

- more so the longer you've been married.

You lose your parenting and/or grandparenting partner.

You lose your travel buddy.

You lose your confidant.

You lose your sense of being.

And it doesn't stop after the first year.

Or after falling in love again.

Or after remarriage.

It doesn't ever stop.
Love doesn't die, people do.

You will always be widowed.

A piece of you will always be missing.

So, today -

and tomorrow -

and next week -

hug a widowed person

- women AND men.

Talk to them about their loss.

Even if they have begun Chapter 2,

they still feel the loss.

But especially if they are still alone.

Mow her lawn.

Make him a real, home-cooked meal - 

and share it with him!

Take them out to dinner and a movie.

Send them flowers once in a while.

Talk to them about who they are becoming -

because the stranger across from you 

is the stranger in the mirror too!

Love them!

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this:

to look after orphans and widows in their distress 

and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

                                                                                             ~~ James 1:27 NIV