The golden one that wasn't...

This blog is in a unique format.

I have written it over the course of a little over a week

as things have come to mind.

It seemed appropriate to me to date the entries separately 

but to post them all together. 

 

3/12/2026

 

Fifty years ago today,

we signed the lease on our first apartment

and started cleaning and moving stuff in. 

 

Fifty years.

A long time by any standard.

 

Just over a week later,

we would marry. 

It was a Saturday.

It was a leap year.

"December 1963 (Oh What a Night)" by the Four Seasons topped the singles chart.

Patty Hearst was convicted of bank robbery.

Bell bottoms were on the way out

and shoulder pads were on the way in.

"One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" and "Rocky" were the top movies.

People were watching "Happy Days", "Laverne & Shirley", and "The Rockford Files" on TV. 

Gerald Ford was president of the United States.

Later that year, I would vote for the first time.

The 1976 Chevy Malibu in lime green with a white top was the car of my dreams. 

Fifty years ago,

on the first day of spring,

my Al and I said "I do".

 

I was 18.

He was 20.

We should have had 50.

Instead, we had just six weeks shy of 37.

 

Can I confess that I am jealous when a couple reaches 50 years.

I am happy for them and jealous of them.

Not terribly attractive I know.

Especially since I am so happily remarried.

But it is highly unlikely my Lanny Love and I will see 50 years together.

 

Over the years I planned that 50th almost as much as I planned our wedding!

I now find myself wondering what to do with the day....... 

 

3/15/2026 

 

I don't compare.

It just isn't a good idea, so I don't do it.

Not even when it doesn't matter because it creates precendent

which creates habit

which creates discordant feeling toward one or the other of my husbands and lives.

So I don't do it.

But it crossed my mind this morning 

that I celebrated my first and fortieth wedding anniversaries -

both significant anniversaries - 

in the same year. 

 

3/16/2026

 

I want to talk about how my Al and I came to be.

We were babies!

I was recently turned 13, he not quite 15 when we met.

I was just finishing 7th grade, still in junior high,

he was going into 9th grade, high school. 

He thought I had good legs,

but, c'mon, I was in junior high and he was in high school.

We went to the same church,

so over the next year, we saw each other on Sundays and Wednesdays

and most Friday and Saturday nights at teen activities.

 

But it wasn't until the summer after we met that he and I became we.

It happened because he got up and moved 

when I sat down in the chair next to him one Sunday evening. 

I didn't mean anything by it, we just both always sat on the front row -

because we were both blind as bats -

and he happened to be sitting in front of and to the side

of a girl with whom I wanted to talk.

So I sat next to him and turned to talk to her

and he got up and moved down a couple chairs.

As only a 14 year old girl can do,

I took offense!!!

 

I immediately began to flirt with him at every opportunity

with the full intention of getting him to "like" me

and then breaking his heart with my aloof "I don't think so" response

to his affections,

Not very nice, I know.

But while I was batting my eyes and laughing at his jokes,

we both fell in "like" so when,

on July 3, 1971 he asked me to "go steady"

I gladly said yes.

I was 14, he was not quite 16.

We were a couple from then on,

marrying not quite 5 years later on the first day of spring.

 

3/17/2026

 

The first day of spring.

That was not our original choice of wedding date.

We had chosen March 27,

but just before the invitations went out,

we discovered that my mother,

who had cancer,

was facing another surgery the Monday following that date

and I didn't want to be on my honeymoon,

so we hand wrote change of date and venue notes

and sent out the invitations.

It turned out that my mother's surgery was moved up a week,

something she didn't tell me,

so I was still on my honeymoon when she had surgery.

 

Still, I have always loved that our wedding day was the first day of spring.

Had I thought about it,

it is very likely I'd have chosen that date to begin with. 

 

And, as it turned out,

my mother passed away just before midnight on March 27 five years later

(though the official time of death was just after midnight March 28),

and a few years after that, my brother-in-law passed on March 27 

so I'm glad it was changed! 

  

 3/19/2026

 

As I type this, it is the day before

and I find myself thinking of that other "day before".

My grandpa getting in (he performed the ceremony).

The rehearsal.

Dinner after with my mom and aunt at Little Black Sambo's.

The last "Night, see you tomorrow." 

Nervous excitement sleeplessness.

 

I find myself fascinated that today is not filled with dread.

It has been my experience that the days leading up to a "special day"

are very often - most of the time - worse than the day itself.

I expected that to be the case this week

but it has not been a difficult, angst-filled week.

I have thought about this special wedding anniversary, a lot,

but not like in the past, not with dread of the day.

And since this is a big one,

that surprises me.......  

 

3/20/2026

 

It was a beautiful morning,

that first day of spring in 1976.

It had rained all week that week

so I was delighted to see my wedding day dawn with sunny skies!

 

We had an afternoon wedding, 2pm.

We didn't want to be partying late and 

I had always wanted an afternoon wedding.

 

Both my parents walked me down the aisle toward my groom,

both gave me away to a man they already love like a son.

I got the nervous giggles waiting in the foyer for my entrance.

I still remember my mom: "Stop that! Right now! Straighten up!"

I tried, and my face in that entrance picture reflects my effort!

 

I remember a lot about our wedding,

but I remember a lot more about the years that followed.

They were good years...and bad.

They were easy...and hard.

They were joyful...and sorrowful.

All of them were loving, growing, committed years.

 

On that spring afternoon,

we promised "until death do us part"

and we kept that promise!

It never occurred to us not to do so.

Not when it was bad, or hard, or sorrowful.

Not ever! 

 

This morning, as I reflect and type this,

my throat is a little thick,

my eyes sting a bit.

I miss my Al.

There are times when I simply long to sit down and talk with him,

hear his corny jokes,

tell him about my day. 

 

I think of our last conversation

and look over at the wonderful second husband he wanted me to find

and know that he would be so pleased with my post-Al life.

I am so pleased with my post-Al life...

...and yet, there is that longing for that life that cannot be replaced,

the life I built with my high school sweetheart,

the man who knew me better than any other ever can

and loved me anyway...

and I him.

 

My covenant with my Al was complete on that January evening in 2013

so today I cannot say I have been married 50 years,

I do not get to celebrate a golden wedding anniversary with the love of my youth,

I only got to celebrate not quite 37.

But today, on the 50th anniversary of our wedding,

I remember the life I shared with my first great love.

And I love him and I miss him!!!

Deeply!!!