48th

Forty-eight years ago this morning

I woke filled with nervous excitement. 

It was my wedding day.

This is the 12th one I have commemorated without him.

We looked forward to our anniversary each year.

We looked forward to the "big one",

The 50th

Because we were so young when we married,

We knew we would have one.

That is the very best thing about baby marriages -

We are still immortal at that point.

I love my Al, still and deeply.

Remarriage does not change that.

Today my heart longs for dinner out,

Whatever surprises we might have for one another,

Anticipation of and planning for

The one coming in two more years.

That part of my heart is sad.

But the bigger part of my heart is filled with joy.

Because while we are physically apart this day,

This 48th commemoration of our lifetime together,

I am filled with memories of love

     And fights

          And excitement at the prospects ahead

               And hopes for the future

                    And dreams.....

And the laughter

     And the tears......

Of a lifetime spent together.

I love the memories!