Tuesday, November 14, 2017

30 Days of Thanks: My People, Day 7

I am playing catch up.
With one exception,
I have posted on the "special days"
but our schedule has kept me from my computer
the other days.
So, catch up.

As I said in my first day post,
I am doing these in the order they came to mind
with the exception of the special days.
Today is day seven.

I am grateful for my widow's group.
Let me tell you about them.

We are a group of christian women whose husbands have died.
We "meet" on Facebook in a private group
through a wonderful website,
run by author,
Ferree Hardy.

There are three levels of groups.
  1. Lifeboat - Stage one grief. Drowning in grief! New anguish. Confusion. How do I live? WHY should I live? How do I change the oil? Who do I call for repairs? Where are my friends? Are your kids....? Am I going crazy? It's the place where we empathize with one another in the new, never-wanted-this, normal. You can stay in this boat for as long as you like. Some have been widowed just a few days, some many years. Everyone grieves at a different rate, but all grief has some commonality and all grievers need to feel they are not alone!
  2. Going Ashore - Stage two grief. Reality has set in. We have begun to move forward. We have relearned how to breath automatically rather than having to remind ourselves to do so. We have begun to comb our hair. We have begun to want to heal. The new "normal" has become more familiar. The fog has begun to lift. We are no longer drowning, we see the shore, some have touched it, some are walking on it. Again, we are at different time periods and all can stay as long as they want.
  3. Love Boat - Stage three grief. We are thinking about dating, have begun trying to date, are dating, are engaged, or have remarried. This is the group of which I am currently a member. 
Within these groups,
we bare our souls.
We share things,
say things,
that we do not share or say anywhere else.
Because unless you've been there,
you don't understand.
And, in the case of those further along,
even fellow widows who have not yet
reached your stage,
may not understand.
In fact, unless you've been there,
it is very likely you would misunderstand
were we to say some of the things we say.
My widow's groups have been,
and are,
very important to me.
I love my widows!

Most of us have never met.
But we are close friends!
Some of us have been privileged to meet.
I have been very blessed to meet four of my friends!

Today, I am grateful to God
for my "boats" and the ladies in them
and to Ferree Hardy for her obedience to God
in launching a "lifeboat"!

And so encourage one another and help one another, 
just as you are now doing.
                                     ~~ 1 Thessalonians 5:11 ~~

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