March 20

Today is March 20.
The first day of spring.
The season of new beginnings.
The trees are budding.
The flowers are blooming.
The temperatures are warming.
The sun is shining.
Everything is growing and changing.
It is a soft, happy time of year.

It is also my wedding anniversary with Al.
Today would have been 41 years.
We were married for just six weeks shy of 37.
We always celebrated our anniversary.
I am a romantic and Al was careful to feed that part of me well.
So we celebrated.
It was spring,
celebrating new beginnings and love.
It was a happy day.

Then Al died.
And March 20 was no longer happy.

The first year after his death,
I was still in shock.
March 20 didn't hurt any more than any other day -
they were all excruciating.

The second year,

the shock had worn off,

and it was an exceptionally painful day.

But the third year was different.

My Lanny Love and I had been seeing each other for a few weeks.

That night, we had a dinner date.

I recall that I was a little more quiet than normal.

After dinner, he took me home.

We sat on the sofa in my living room chatting.

Then, several seconds of quiet.

Then, he slipped to the floor in front of me,

took my face in his hands,

and kissed me softly.

He pulled away and, looking me in the eyes, said,

"I told myself I wasn't going to say this yet but I love you!"

I replied,

"I love you, too!"

And just like that spring came!

Oh, I knew he was falling in love with me.

He had said a few days earlier that he thought he was.

And I certainly knew I was falling in love with him!

So I wasn't surprised by the declaration or my response.

But I was surprised by the restoration.

New beginnings,

good beginnings,

don't always start out that way!

Sometimes they come from great loss and grief!

But God!

He brings beauty from ashes!

Riches from rags!

Love from loss!

Only God could have restored a day destroyed by death

to one filled with hope.

I don't know why I was surprised.

He had done it before.

That Sunday morning,

you know the one,

following that terrible Friday.

Following the loss.

Following death.

Resurrection!

Restoration!

Hope!

So, today is March 20.

And I think of Al and miss him!

And I think of my Lanny Love and celebrate!

And I think of that Sunday and rejoice!

But God!

Welcome spring!