My Lanny Love and I are in love.
With each other.
And each of us with someone else.
And we're both okay with that.
I suppose to many of you, my dear readers,
that sounds very strange.
Let me assure you, it's not!
We talk with each other about our loves -
both ours for each other,
and ours for those others that we love.
Just this past weekend, he talked about his Judy.
Because I asked.
And he wept.
And I wept with him!
And I talked about my Al.
You see, I'm glad that he is still in love with her!
Because that means he does not give his heart casually!
He didn't to her -
and he hasn't to me!
His love for her is deep and abiding.
It will last a lifetime.
As it should!
And his love for me is deep and abiding.
It will last a lifetime.
As it should!
Once a person has truly loved, it is always there!
Falling in love with another is in addition to,
not in place of!
His deep love for Judy,
his grief over the loss of her,
gives me security.
It is the same in reverse.
I know someone who thinks it's disrespectful
of the new love to talk about the other love.
Believe me, it's not!
Judy is part of who my Lanny Love is!
I want to know everything about him!
That includes her!
My Al is part of who I am.
My Lanny Love wants to know everything about me.
That includes Al!
I haven't always understood this!
"Before", I knew a widower who had remarried.
He loves his beautiful, gentle, second wife so much!
And he loves his first wife still, many years later.
He would sometimes talk about her.
There were pictures and memorabilia of her around.
I used to feel so sorry for his second wife!
I used to say, "Not me, baby!"
Now I understand.
His second wife does not live in the shadow of the first,
she lives in the shade!
Now lest you think we spend all our time talking about our pasts,
we don't.
Shade is only enjoyed when the sun is shining.
Without the sunshine,
it is not shade, it is shadow, darkness.
The sunshine of our new lives
is warm and healing and wonderful
and where we spend the majority of our time.
But there will always be moments of shade.
Needed shade.
So why am I talking about this?
During our conversation this past weekend,
it occurred to me that there is a great parallel here.
True love does not die!
It is eternal!
No matter what!
When they were difficult,
we loved them.
When they were easy,
we loved them.
When they were dull,
we loved them.
When they were exciting,
we loved them.
Now they are gone from us,
and we love them.
No, love never dies.
Except it did!
While we were unlovable,
Love died for us on a cross!
Jesus' undying love,
was so deep,
that He chose to offer Himself
a physical sacrifice for our sin!
Of the many lessons of grief,
The lessons in love are my very favorites!
With each other.
And each of us with someone else.
And we're both okay with that.
I suppose to many of you, my dear readers,
that sounds very strange.
Let me assure you, it's not!
We talk with each other about our loves -
both ours for each other,
and ours for those others that we love.
Just this past weekend, he talked about his Judy.
Because I asked.
And he wept.
And I wept with him!
And I talked about my Al.
You see, I'm glad that he is still in love with her!
Because that means he does not give his heart casually!
He didn't to her -
and he hasn't to me!
His love for her is deep and abiding.
It will last a lifetime.
As it should!
And his love for me is deep and abiding.
It will last a lifetime.
As it should!
Once a person has truly loved, it is always there!
Falling in love with another is in addition to,
not in place of!
His deep love for Judy,
his grief over the loss of her,
gives me security.
It is the same in reverse.
I know someone who thinks it's disrespectful
of the new love to talk about the other love.
Believe me, it's not!
Judy is part of who my Lanny Love is!
I want to know everything about him!
That includes her!
My Al is part of who I am.
My Lanny Love wants to know everything about me.
That includes Al!
I haven't always understood this!
"Before", I knew a widower who had remarried.
He loves his beautiful, gentle, second wife so much!
And he loves his first wife still, many years later.
He would sometimes talk about her.
There were pictures and memorabilia of her around.
I used to feel so sorry for his second wife!
I used to say, "Not me, baby!"
Now I understand.
His second wife does not live in the shadow of the first,
she lives in the shade!
Now lest you think we spend all our time talking about our pasts,
we don't.
Shade is only enjoyed when the sun is shining.
Without the sunshine,
it is not shade, it is shadow, darkness.
The sunshine of our new lives
is warm and healing and wonderful
and where we spend the majority of our time.
But there will always be moments of shade.
Needed shade.
So why am I talking about this?
During our conversation this past weekend,
it occurred to me that there is a great parallel here.
True love does not die!
It is eternal!
No matter what!
When they were difficult,
we loved them.
When they were easy,
we loved them.
When they were dull,
we loved them.
When they were exciting,
we loved them.
Now they are gone from us,
and we love them.
No, love never dies.
Except it did!
While we were unlovable,
Love died for us on a cross!
Jesus' undying love,
was so deep,
that He chose to offer Himself
a physical sacrifice for our sin!
Of the many lessons of grief,
The lessons in love are my very favorites!
There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
~~ John 15:13 NLT ~~
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
~~ Romans 5:8 NIV ~~
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