Significant Day

Yesterday was a significant day.
I couldn't figure it out.
I'd been sad, thinking about something -
a loss I experienced -
a lot the last few days.
Then yesterday afternoon,
it hit me.
It was a "date".
One of "those" dates.
And I allowed myself to weep for a bit.

I read an interesting blog post on grief and loss today.
I especially like this quote:

I think Christians have an added obstacle to grieving in a healthy way because we get scared when our thoughts are despairing and our emotions are unstable. We punt those thoughts and feelings as fast as we can because we think they mean we don’t have faith. Instead of allowing ourselves to ask the hard questions before a heavenly Father who loves us, we explain away our anger and pain by slapping on some Bible verses and forcing ourselves to smile through the pain.

But this is never what God intended. So many of us are bleeding. And not the type of bleeding that comes from a scraped knee. We’re talking gunshot wounds and jagged cuts. We don’t need a Band-Aid. We need a surgeon.

My Lanny Love and I talked about grief last evening -
in a different context than my grief of yesterday,
but the oddities and survival of grief nonetheless.
A recently remarried widow friend woke weeping
for her deceased husband the other night.
She wondered if it was normal,
even though she loves her new husband
with all her heart,
to still love and miss her late husband.
I, and a number of other widowed women,
told her it was.
She was concerned her new husband,
also widowed,
was hurt.
So I asked my Lanny Love.
He agreed that, from a male perspective,
it was completely normal
to love and miss one's late spouse.
He also agreed one could indeed deeply love
more than one person -
within the context of loss and grief -
without taking anything
from the other(s).

One of the most difficult things to reconcile in this process
is the never-endingness of grief.
While it changes, softens,
the loss is always there and,
from time-to-time,
it feels fresh and new
even as it ages.
And while the type of grief may matter somewhat,
I think that loss of any kind
produces grief.
The depth of the grief is in direct relation
to the depth of the loss.

But there is hope!
God does not want us to remain mired down in our grief!
Regardless of what our loss is,
whether relational through death or break-up,
or an event loss such as job, home, finances, etc.,
we honor God by moving forward!
If we believe God is in control,
then we must believe He chose to allow our loss.
He didn't necessarily cause it,
but He allowed it!

And so, once again,
I picked up the pieces of my broken heart yesterday.
I placed them carefully in God's Hand of mercy and grace.
I turned to Him with tears,
said, "I don't understand..."
And He replied softly,
"I know."
And He held me close,
caressed me,
whispered words of restoration to me.
And I move forward,
live the life He has given me!
With joy!
With abandon!
With gratitude for His touch,
His love,
His understanding,
His many blessings!

Life is good!

The Lord is my strength and my shield;

my heart trusts in Him,

and He helps me.

My heart leaps for joy,

and with my song I praise Him.

                                                                 ~~ Psalm28:7 NIV ~~