Suicide

I want to talk about suicide. Since the death of Robin Williams, depression and suicide have been in the news a lot. I toyed with talking about it right after, but, really, haven't we heard enough?

Well, no. Because I know someone who is depressed. And lonely. And heartbroken. And is talking about ending their life. And I know just exactly how this person feels.

A little known fact about me is that I come from an extremely broken childhood. I have suffered mental and emotional issues as a result. I have been suicidal. Many years ago, I made an attempt. The last few months, when my sorrow and grief has seemed overwhelming and permanent, suicide has taunted me.

So I know just how this individual feels.

The difference is that I received help. I have learned to know the warning signs. I know that times of extreme stress or sorrow bring on depression, the number one cause of suicide. But I also know that this is temporary. Circumstances change! Emotions change! Our ability to cope changes! Even though hard things feel permanent while we are in the midst of them, they are NOT PERMANENT, they are temporary!

Suicide, on the other hand, is permanent!

So, I want to talk to this individual. And any others out there who are feeling hopeless.

Statistics:

"Family history of suicide, suicide attempts, depression or other psychiatric illness increases the risk of suicide." (http://contactcrisisline.org/resources/suicide/) 

If you choose to even attempt suicide, you are increasing the risk that your children, grandchildren, siblings, parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews will do the same. Live for their sakes if you can't do it for your own right now!

This one piece of information, provided to me with the percentage of increase (which I now can't remember, but it was very high, over 50% more likelihood that the family member of a suicide would themselves commit suicide eventually) gave me the strength to fight to live back then. It would have been much easier to have ended my life than to get well, believe me!, but the thought that my precious children or husband or siblings might commit suicide because I had, well, that gave me strength and determination! Grab onto that as I have in the last few months!

"12. How does suicide affect friends and family members?
Suicide is extremely traumatic for the friends and family members that remain (the survivors), even though people that attempt suicide often think that no-one cares about them. In addition to the feelings of grief normally associated with a person's death, there may be guilt, anger, resentment, remorse, confusion and great distress over unresolved issues. The stigma surrounding suicide can make it extremely difficult for survivors to deal with their grief and can cause them also to feel terribly isolated.

Survivors often find that people relate differently to them after the suicide, and may be very reluctant to talk about what has happened for fear of condemnation. They often feel like a failure because someone they cared so much about has chosen to suicide, and may also be fearful of forming any new relationships because of the intense pain they have experienced through the relationship with the person who has completed suicide." (http://www.survivorsofsuicide.com/faq_suicide.shtml) 

It's not just your family you affect. It's your friends! Those people who thought to themselves, "If he can do it, so can I!" What happens to them when it turns out you couldn't? And what about those people you encouraged to keep on going with your words? Why should they if you didn't? Why should they stop drinking or drugging or get counseling or ........ whatever else? It obviously doesn't work anyway.

Most family and friends blame themselves for a loved one's suicide. They feel they should have known. They should have been able to prevent it. They even feel they were the cause. They will feel guilt. Now, while that may be the goal for some people in your life, it will not just be that person/people who feel that way. Your child(ren) will feel that way. Your siblings will feel that way. Your pastor will feel that way. Your best friend will feel that way. The little lady in the wheel chair who sits across the aisle from you at church will feel that way. The checker you befriended at the grocery store will feel that way. The shut-in you visited regularly will feel that way. Everyone you touched will feel that way. Google it. You will see the research, the reports, know that I am speaking truth.

Further, having experienced loss and grief yourself, do you really want to put your friends and family through the same agony when the past has proven that things will improve?

If you, like my friend, are in that place of hopelessness, loneliness, and sorrow, I encourage you to FIGHT!!!!! Don't let "it" or "them" win!!! Get help!!! TELL someone you need help, you are discouraged, you are hurting, you are depressed, you feel like you can't go on, you are suicidal!

GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO HEAL!!! IT WON'T HAPPEN OVER NIGHT, BUT IT WILL HAPPEN!!!






You are "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Ps. 139:14), let Jesus help you through your suffering (Matthew 5:4, I Peter 2:21-24, 2 Corinthians 1:8b-9), let Him comfort you and you continue to use your experiences to help others (2 Corinthians 1:3-7).

I pray daily for my friend! Many times, through the night, I waken and lift this individual! Others of you who are at this point, realize that there ARE people out there who care for you!!!! Even those who may be the root of your angst do not want this for you!!! And if they do, they are not worth your life!!! Someone out there is praying for you! God has led them to do so! Rest assured!

I love you, my friend, even when you think I don't! I care what happens to you even if it seems otherwise! So do all the other people in your life!!! DO NOT GIVE UP!!!!!!