So much on my mind...

Wow!

 

I have had so much on my mind lately!

And because my mind works like a pin ball machine

I have had trouble getting it all down!

But there are several blogs in the works

that just need a little tweaking

so, after this long dry spell,

expect a flurry of posts soon.

 

Meanwhile, our little Love Nest has been hectic!

We purchased and remodeled a new home,

sold our first "our" home,

and moved in the last several weeks.

Thanksgiving, anniversary, birthdays, Christmas, more birthdays, New Year's -

Oy vey!

 

Anyway, my thoughts are never far from you, my readers,

nor the blogs that burn within me to be written. 

As this new year begins

and as I adjust to all the changes in my life -

have I mentioned I don't do change very well any more? -

and as I process this difficult month,

my mind has turned again to the grief journey.

 

Grief is so complicated!

Confusing!

Rollercoaster-y!

 

Unfortunately, Christians, are often hard on the grief-stricken.

We take 1 Thessalonians 4:13 and use it to beat ourselves and each other!

 

And now, dear brothers and sisters, 

we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died

so you will not grieve like people who have no hope.

We take that last line and shorten it to

"so you will not grieve."

Period.

And then when we or our brothers and sisters in Christ

lose someone dear to us and grieve...

we beat each other up with this Scripture.

I have beat myself up a lot, especially this last year!

How tragic!

 

Recently, as my Lanny Love and I were talking

about a family we know who, it appears, are about to lose a child.

I commented that I was unsure if they were as strong as they seem

or if, because they are Christians,

they feel obligated to present that way in public.

As so many Christians do.

We have to finish that verse and take in the surrounding verses with it!

 

You see, we don't grieve as those without Christ grieve,

those who have no hope of eternity,

of seeing their loved ones in Heaven.

We do grieve differently because we do know that

one eternal day we will see them again.

So spiritually we do not grieve as the world grieves

and that gives us a solid foundation

and a help beyond that available in the world,

even the Christian world,

through supportive family, friends, counseling, etc.

But emotionally, we grieve the same as everyone else - 

I will dare to say it -

perhaps even more deeply

because we strive to love with the love of Christ

and there is no greater love than that!

 

We allow ourselves and others

to miss someone who lives far away,

has come to visit,

and returned home. 

They are gone from us

and we miss them.

Our hearts ache and long to be with them again.

We remember the love and the activities and the companionship

and we know that it will be a long while until we can hold them close

and our hearts hurt.

We are sad.

This is exactly what happens in the life of a Christian

when they experience the death of a Christian loved one!

They have been with us for a visit,

perhaps a very long one,

perhaps a very short one,

and have gone Home.

And we miss them!

But rather than missing them temporarily as in a visit,

the separation is permanent until we join them in Heaven.

 

Believers and non-believers alike

experience permanently changed lives,

our hearts hurt,

all our emotions are overwhelmed by the emotion of grief.

 

Christian emotions are just like those outside of Christendom!

Just like God's (we are created in His image and likeness, Genesis 1:26).

Just like Jesus' who experienced all that we experience, 

including grief and sorrow (the story of Lazarus' death, especially John 11:35)

Just like the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, 

feels what we feel, 

and helps us with those emotions (John 14:16, 17)

As the secondary losses begin to quickly mount,

the emotion of grief does too.

While believers experience the spiritual aspects of loss and grief

quite differently from non-believers,

Christians and non-Christians

experience emotional grief in the same basic fashion. 

No two alike, all very similar.

The difference is spiritual, not emotional!

We grieve spiritually differently 

from those who do not have the hope of eternity through Christ!

 

Folks, Jesus Himself grieved/grieves!

And in the Sermon on the Mount,

He not only gave us permission to grieve and be comforted,

He said we were blessed because He allows us to grieve

and comforts our spirits in that grief!(Matthew 5:4)

Rejoice in the sureness of eternity and that wonderful day when

He will wipe every tear from their eyes,

and death shall be no more,

neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore,

for the former things have passed away.

 

                                                                           ~~ Revelation 21:4 ~~

But take note that even in this verse of promise,

the fact of earth-bound mourning and grief is acknowledged. 

Open your emotions to Him!

More than any of your family,

more than all your friends,

more than the world's finest, most compassionate counselor,

He understands your sorrow-laden emotions -

and He knows how you are feeling,

what you are experiencing anyway,

so there is no need to try to hide from Him,

from others,

or from yourself!

 

And in His time -

and remember, His time is not our time,

for we want the pain and anguish to stop NOW -

in His time, He will bring healing,

restore life out of mere existence,

beauty out of ashes.

But it takes time 

and that time of mourning

is not time living in sin!

It is time growing in grace!

It is time of refinement!

But grief is not sin!

 

 

So this year, I challenge you to offer grace

and patience

and mercy

to yourself and others.

If you have never experienced this emotional rollercoaster,

count your blessings

and offer grace anyway!

Offer your presence!

Offer your love!

Offer encouragement that the intense anguish won't last forever!

 

But don't beat each other 

unnecessarily and erroneously  

with Scripture!