Holidays, reflections, and resolutions

I am shocked!

I really am!

I didn't realize!

How can it be nearly 5 months since I last posted a blog???

I have thought about blogging often.

Have had some great ideas,

things I NEEDED to write and post!

Things I felt God urging me to write and post!

But I've been so swamped!

So busy!

Too busy!

Too busy to pause to do His bidding in an area I thoroughly enjoy - writing,

an area that felt selfish to me.

Too busy to take care of the things to which He has entrusted me.

To busy to take care of myself....

I have been doing a lot of reflecting recently.

I am a Christmas junkie!

I love the holidays!

Beginning with Thanksgiving

and going through Epiphany,

I celebrate!

Family 

Friends

The birth of our Saviour

I celebrate joyously, extravagantly.

But today is January 2 

and I have not yet celebrated.

Oh, I did it all.

All the decorating.

All the cooking.

All the entertaining.

But I haven't celebrated,

I've only done my duties.

I am ready to take down all the lights and decorations!

I don't want to wait until the day after Epiphany

as I always have.

I just want to be done.

This happened to some degree last year as well,

which tells me my decline has been a while coming,

but not like this year!

This year, I didn't look forward to Christmas!

I dreaded getting out the trees

and the lights

and the candles

and the table decorations

and the village

and the fabrics

and the pillows

and the Nativities.....

I was just too tired and busy

to add more to my plate

and Christmas means company

and entertaining

and shopping

and cooking

and........

And I was just too tired and busy.

Now, most of these things that are keeping me so busy

are good things!

I have expanded my roll in our ministry in our neighborhood.

I have worked on strengthening important relationships.

I have been a helper and listening ear to a number of people in crisis.

I have started a new business.

I have busied myself with admirable things.

Because I "should".

But have I truly honored God or my husband in all my pursuits?

I've been thinking about this a lot over the last few months,

how tired and busy I have become.

Too tired.

Too busy.

I've stopped spending quality time with the Lord.

I've stopped giving quality Gina to my Lanny Love.

I've stopped sleeping again.

I've stopped exercising regularly.

I've stopped eating properly.

I've started worrying and fretting more.

I've become impatient and done a lot of "eye-rolling".

My home has suffered as I have gotten busier.

I've stopped doing things just for pleasure,

just because I enjoy doing them.

I've given up a lot of what I enjoy

in order to accomplish what I need to get done.

I have not felt well.

I've gained weight, aged.

This does not please me!

Nor does it please God!

You know, even He rests

and does things for pleasure!

Why, we were created for His pleasure!

And I don't think He has gotten much pleasure out of me this year.

I have two callings on my life!

Only two!

I am to serve God with all my heart, mind, and strength,

and I am to love others!

This is the foundation of all other commandments!

I have given an "appearance" of doing that,

but in reality,

I have put God in the background,

giving Him an obligatory "pat on the head" each day

as I rushed about my "work for the Kingdom".

And the one person that God expects me to love best,

my Lanny Love,

has experienced less "bride"

and more "wife" this year.

Now, I will tell you

that I gave up making New Year's resolutions

many years ago.

Rather, I seek to improve daily

and when I see something that needs improving,

I don't wait for January to work on it!

But it happens that the culmination

of several months of self-reflection

has happened at the first of the year.

So, with God's help,

I am going to work on some things:

on spending quality time with the Lord;

on giving my precious husband more "bride" and less "wife";

on taking care of my health

by making time for healthy diet and exercise habits

and taking some time to rest and relax,

doing things I enjoy -

like writing and blogging -

and less time doing all those things

that "need" to be done!

It's not a New Year's resolution,

it's a God-given direction!

May He find me faithful!

Jesus answered, 

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, 

all your soul, 

and all your mind.’

This is the first and most important command.

And the second command is like the first: 

‘Love your neighbor 

[my husband is my nearest neighbor!]

as you love yourself.’ 

All the law and the writings of the prophets 

depend on these two commands.” 

 ~~ Matthew 22:37-40