Mother's Day

I know.
Mother's Day is several weeks past!
But this has been brewing for a while.
It's finally come together
so it's time to post.

This Mother's Day was unique.
It was another first.
I've had a number of firsts where Mother's Day is concerned.

The first Mother's Day after losing a child

The first Mother's Day I had a mother-in-law

The first Mother's Day I knew I was pregnant

The first Mother's Day after my oldest daughter was born

Several first Mother's Days after miscarriages

The first Mother's Day after my mom died

The first Mother's Day after my youngest daughter was born

The first Mother's Days after I knew there would be no more babies

The first Mother's Day after I had a son-in-law

The first Mother's Day after my Al and my mother-in-law died

The first Mother's Day after I had no more grandmothers

And now this year.

More firsts.

Once again, I have a precious husband who,

though we do not share biological children,

celebrated my motherhood with me.

Once again, I have a wonderful mother-in-law to celebrate.

But the big first,

one I never expected to experience,

is that this year,

I am a step-mother.

And that's what this blog is about.

As is the case in any blended family,
there have been some growing pains.
And, just as my children will likely especially miss their daddy this week-end
as Father's Day is celebrated,
I am certain that my step-children especially missed their precious mama
on Mother's Day.
And, honestly, I wasn't sure just how to act on this first for them -
another wife in their daddy's life on Mother's Day.
Because while they know he still misses their mama,
it very likely felt different to them this year,
as if, somehow, he didn't really miss her as much.
In reality,
my presence probably made him miss her more.
And it probably had the same affect on them.

But I would never have known it!
All three of my Lanny Love's children remembered me on Mother's Day!
Me!
In some respects, the enemy.
And in the midst of their sorrow and longing for their own mother,
they took the time and effort to make me feel special!
How it pleasured me!
This gift, their love and acceptance,
is the most precious Mother's Day gift I have ever received!
How I love them for their efforts!

And that's what I want to focus on now that you have the back ground story.
Three things:

Step-mother

Step-children

Love

According to whatever entity it is that names relationships,

I am a step-mother,

the wife of a man who has children with another woman.

They are my step-children,

the children of my husband with another woman.

Except they aren't.

In my heart, they aren't.

And it surprised me as Mother's Day approached

and I began to realize the truth of that statement!

I love Tiffany and Aleisha and Zach -
and their spouses, Blu and Jamie!

And while I do not think of myself as their mother,

I do think of them as my children.

Not my step-children,

my children.

It's confusing.

How can I not be their mother,

but they are my children?

Here's what I've come up with.

A long time ago,

I babysat a little boy.

He came to me at about four weeks old.

And I fell in love with him!

When I went shopping and bought something for my girls,

I bought something for Steven.

I was not his mom.

But I loved him like a son!

When we moved away and his mama wouldn't let me take him with me,

(unreasonable woman!)

I grieved as if I had lost another child.

Several years later,

my brother and sister-in-law and baby nephew

moved in with us for a while.

Same thing happened!

Eric became mine in my heart!

And, again, when they moved away,

I grieved as if I had lost another child.

That is how I feel about my love-children!

They are mine!

I did not birth them.

I do not share

their DNA.

They don't look like me

in any way.

They don't sound

like me.

They don't have any of 

my habits.

They don't have any of

my mannerisms.

But they are mine.

I love them deeply!

Completely!

As my children!

I don't know why since the same thing happened with my sons-in-love,

but I did not expect this!

They are adults,

not sweet, tiny babies.

I expected to love them because I love my Lanny Love.

I expected to love them as friends.

I did not expect to love them as children.

My children!

But I do!

And it amazes me!

And brings me great joy!

And it makes me realize anew how great is the love of God!

I was an adult watching my Al be a daddy to our girls,

and experiencing the absolute, complete adoration I felt for them,

before I really understood the concept of

God loving us like a Father.

But those were littles.

They grew in our hearts as they grew in my belly.

By the time they were born,

they were our precious children,

forever bonded to us in love!

During the teen years,

it sometimes felt like only the shared DNA -

and remembering my own obnoxious teen years -

kept me from killing them.

But I did not and do not love them

for what they did or didn't do,

I love them for whose they are - MINE!

And I found myself wondering,

as I did in my youth,

if a perfect God would tolerate and love me in my imperfection.

While my head knew the answer to that,

today, my love-children have reminded my heart that 

God's love is

never-ending,

unconditional,

forgiving,

protecting - 

perfect!

I am God's Child!

No matter what!

No matter how many growing pains I experience in our relationship.

He does not love me for what I do,

He loves me for whose I am - HIS!

Isn't that a thing of great wonder!

The Lord your God is with you;

the mighty One will save you.

He will rejoice over you.

You will rest in his love;

He will sing and be joyful about you.

                                                                     ~~ Zephaniah 3:17 NCV