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Today I watched a heartbroken father
honor his 19 year old son
at his memorial service.

His precious son committed suicide on Thursday
during the commission of a crime.

I wept as I saw this fine man
and his precious, grieving wife,
pay homage to their youngest child.

And I wept as I heard of this
unique young man's struggle with
bullying and the resulting depression.

I wept as I heard his father talk of
the things they learned about their boy
while searching his room
these last few days.

I wept as I felt the pain and suffering
this fine young man felt throughout his youth.

I wept as I heard how the bullying apparently did not end
with high school graduation
but continued on into his adulthood.
No end in sight.
And so, on Thursday night, in an out of character move,
their son got drunk
and returned to the middle school where the bullying began.
He broke in,
trashed a room,
and when the police arrived,
he ran.
Suddenly, with police in pursuit,
he stopped,
fired one shot into the ground,
then turned the gun on himself,
and fired.

And the world changed.
A family is forever altered.
No longer innocent,
they have experienced the worst,
the death of a child,
magnified because of the circumstances.

But let me tell you about my friends.
As I watched his parents honor their son,
I saw grief written all over them.
They had aged years in a few short days.
Swollen eyes marked the father's face.
Pale skin marked the mother's.
A catch in the voice,
trembling hands.
Grief.
But about them was something else.
There was a glow about them.
Even in this storm,
this tsunami of grief,
God was evident!
His Spirit surrounded them,
held them up!

As I listened to them talk,
I heard no condemnation.
Not toward their child.
Not toward themselves.
And not toward God.

They talked of their son's struggles to learn.
They talked of his speech difficulties.
They talked of his small stature.
They talked of the things that made him a bully's target.

And they talked of his big heart.
They talked of his service as a volunteer fire fighter.
They talked of his salvation and baptism.
They talked of his love for God.

They begged those listening to express their hurts
rather than suppressing them.
They told of how crushed their family was
and begged that no one else ever crush their family in such a way.
They begged that if anyone listening was contemplating suicide,
that they

DO NOT DO IT!

GET HELP!

Your family and friends cannot read minds!
They do not know the depth of your pain!
Tell them!!!
Call someone, anyone!
Cry out!
Shout!
Scream!
But get help!

I am echoing that plea today!
I have been depressed!
I have contemplated ending my life!
How glad I am that I sought help instead!
If things seem hopeless to you,
if you cannot see any way to get past ---

--- IT ---

whatever "it" may be,
KNOW this one thing!

"It" is not permanent!!!

No one is so broken,
nothing is so bad,
that it cannot be mended!
Seek help!
It is out there!
Ask a friend!
Ask a clergyman!
Ask a stranger!
Ask a professional!
If you know me, ask me!
But ASK!
And ask God!
The solution is not instant!
It will likely take hard work and commitment.
But there IS a solution!

You are precious!
A child of God!
Dearly loved by Him
and by more people than you realize!
Do not end it!
Do not take a permanent action
on a temporary situation!

Please!

I look up to the hills,

but where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord,

who made heaven and earth.

He will not let you be defeated.

He who guards you never sleeps.

~~ Psalm 121:1-3 NCV ~~