Love is a many splendored thing…

And a LOT of hard work!

 

I have loved many people in my life.

I love my children!

I love my grandchildren!

I love my sisters and brothers!

I love my parents!

I love my friends!

 

I love my husbands!

And that is the kind of love that has spurred this post.

I love deeply, passionately.

In all my relationships,

but most especially in my romantic ones.

 

I have been engaged four times.

Three of those times, I was deeply in love.

Two of those times, I married the man.

Of those four engagements,

twice, I was the one who loved more

and twice, I was the one more loved.

I will not say which was which because it doesn’t matter.

I will say that both sides created difficulties for me.

 

When I was more loved,

I felt guilty.

I should love more, try harder.

And I was right about that.

But you know,

I was never able to outlove those two men.

Because their love for me wouldn't allow it.

 

When I loved more,

it was hard to know that I was not the most important thing.

Sometimes it flat out hurt!

Sometimes, it would have been easier to just say,

"Fine!" 

and withdraw.

But despite my sometimes hurt feelings,

I worked all the harder to love well.

I pampered, spoiled, catered to, wooed.

I pursued ardently.

Because I so greatly desired to be wholly loved,

the most important.

 

Just as God's love for us

won't allow us to outlove Him.

Just as He desires to be wholly loved,

the most important to us!

 

Finally we get to it!

 

I believe that the marriage relationship

most closely emulates God’s relationship with us.

Most people think it is the parent/child relationship.

I disagree.

 

You see, we raise our children –

rightfully so –

to become independent of us,

to need us less and less as time goes on,

to eventually fly the nest

where we lovingly protected them when they were young.

 

However, in a good and loving marriage relationship,

we become more and more dependent upon one another,

our need for the other grows and deepens with time,

we nestle more deeply into the protective wing

of that person we most love in the world

and cannot fathom a life apart from them.

 

This is how our relationship with God should be!

Ever more dependent!

 

Recently, it occurred to me to wonder.

Does God sometimes feel pain and hurt

at the knowledge that He loves us more,

that we love Him less than other people or things?

Does He grieve that we take His love for granted?

Is He jealous of those things that come first,

those things we rank ahead of Him?

Does He sometimes weep

in wanting our complete devotion to Him?

Does He grow weary of

pampering, spoiling, catering to, wooing us

only to remain in second or third or fourth... 

or anything but first place?

Do we break His heart

by not loving Him best?

 

May I never hurt you so, Lord God!