A bigot revealed.

Bigotry is ugly.

It’s ugly regardless of the color or form.

It’s ugly when a white cop targets or hates a black man

because he’s black.

It’s ugly when a black man fears or hates a white cop

because he’s white.

It’s ugly when a straight couple hates gay couples

because they’re gay.

It’s ugly when a gay couple hates straight couples

because they’re straight.

It’s ugly when a middle-eastern person is assumed to be a member of Isis

because they’re middle-eastern.

It’s ugly when a fat person is assumed to be undisciplined and lazy

because they’re fat.

It’s ugly when we consider someone to be judgemental

because they’re a Christian.

It’s ugly when a Democrat is considered immoral

because they’re a Democrat.

It’s ugly when a Republican is considered to be a hate-monger

because they’re Republican.

It’s ugly when we vote against a person

because of their color or gender.

It’s ugly when we vote FOR them

based upon that same criteria.

It’s ugly every single time we say or think “they” or “them”

in reference to an entire group of people.

Bigotry is ugly!

No matter what color or form it takes.

We can’t pretty it up by being “supportive”.

We can’t change it by demonstrating.

We can’t change it by rioting.

I’m old enough to remember.

Old enough to have participated

in some peaceful sit-ins and demonstrations.

Old enough to still be impacted by the memories

of the news reports.

We “supported”.

We demonstrated.

We rioted.

We did those things in the 1960’s and 1970’s.

More than 50 years later, nothing has changed.

It didn’t work then and it won’t work now.

We can’t fix this by being politically correct.

We can’t fix this by joining a group.

We can’t fix this with laws or mandates or shaming or meetings or……

You see, racism is not our problem,

it is a symptom.

Bigotry is our problem.

A heart that does not look like Christ’s is our problem.

And we can only stop racism if we stop being bigots.

And we can only change that in our hearts.

One heart at a time.

I’ve been doing some hard looking at my heart.

I’ve never considered myself a bigot.

“Oh really?” said God.

“Let me show you some things!”

You see, my bigotry does not look like yours.

Yours doesn’t look like mine.

And the list above doesn’t even scratch the surface of the possibilities.

Bigotry isn’t just about race.

Bigotry is about looking at someone 

with eyes less than those of Christ,

with a heart that does not look like His.

My heart is broken!

As He has shined His light there

I have seen ugliness.

No, my bigotry doesn’t look like yours.

But it doesn’t matter.

Bigotry is ugly.

No matter what color or form it takes.

I wish...Part 2

I received push back. 
Maybe I wasn't clear.
And I surely don't want misunderstandings in this!

I want to tell you a story.
The day after I wrote my last blog,
someone dear to me,
who has been badly hurt in an important relationship
that she desperately wants restored,
showed a depth of love that I have seldom seen.
I will not share her story, 
for it is not mine to share,
but I will tell you the statement she made
toward the end of our conversation.

I don't think that my friend can find Christ while in relationship with me.

I think that without consequences for choices and actions,

there will never be the need for Christ

and so I can't restore our relationship

no matter how much I want to.

This is not a word-for-word quote,
but is the general gist of what she said.

Her heart's desire.

Her longing.

Her deep need.

Her happiness.

Her comfort.

Put aside.

Because her love for her friend

is greater than her love for herself.

I am awed at her Christ-likeness!

This is what I meant.

More than my own heart's desire.

More than my longing.

More than my deep need.

More than my happiness.

More than my comfort.

At any cost.

I wish for my Lanny Love to have never experienced
the loss of his beloved Judy.

Even if my own loss was still a factor.

Even if it meant being with someone else whom,

I truly believe,

I could not possibly love and desire,

admire and respect

as much as I do him.

Even if it meant being alone and lonely and broken
for the rest of my life.

No matter what!

I wish he had never experienced that excruciating pain,

that horrendous loss!

For my love for him
is greater than my love for myself.

And I was so pleasured to find that I had that depth of Christ-like love within me!

You see,

Christ gave everything!

He gave up Kingship.

The Throne of Heaven.

He suffered insults and injury.

Loss.

Sorrow.

Grief.

Pain.

Because His love for us -

for you and me -

was and is greater than His own pleasure,

His own comfort,

His status.

How amazing is that!

There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

~~ John 15:13 ~~

I wish I were married to someone else...

...ANYone else!

Does that sound strange?
It feels strange.

Today is Father's Day.
Today I am the wrong woman.
Today he is the wrong man.
That is the way all the Father's Days
and Mother's Days are now.
But this one is different.
It's the first one I have wished
to be married to ANYone else.
And as I thought about it,
it gave me great pleasure.

You see, today, while I miss my Al,
while I acutely feel his absence,
while I miss honoring and celebrating
the amazing father he was to our girls,
while my heart surges with love and longing for him,
today, for the first time,
I wished not just for him to be here,
but for me to have never known Lanny.
It is not just that I want Al today,
I want Lanny to have Judy!
And that would mean that
even if I were still a remarried widow,
I would not be married to him.
Because he would not be sad, he would have her.

And I love him that much!